Typically we associate our attraction for someone else as something physical. What if I told you it went far beyond that? It is pretty clear that physical attraction is significant, but it is only a small piece of the total formula making you obsessed with someone else. In this blog I will attempt to describe different mental and subliminal examples of why you may be attracted to someone else.
Do you have a type? Many of us think so, and we may be correct. The thing about it is, that “type” isn’t always the same in terms of physical appearance. It may be similar in many subliminal ways. In other words, the type of people that always catch your attention may have similar characteristics that always leave you with heart eyes. You may not even be able to identify these small cues in people that either turn you on or off. All you know is you’re either enjoying someone or you’re trying to avoid them. Well, lets look into a few examples of what may be the cause of this.
There was a book I once read called, “The Social Animal”. In the beginning of the book the author was describing our ability to observe the smallest movements, reactions, postures, demeanor, body language, eye contact, wordplay, etc. in other people. It made me realize that it doesn’t take long for you to decide if you like someone or not. Sometimes it may even be seconds. Much of this is based on feeling. Millions of cues and information from the past tells you if this is someone you could see yourself with or not. The wrong movement, joke, or approach can either be a turn off or a turn on. So yea, fellas that girl who gave you her number probably already wanted you to approach her. In fact, women are big on hints. So she probably put herself in position for you to approach her.
The many different levels of attraction extend far beyond what we may understand. So here’s a few examples of ways we can be stimulated beyond the physical.
Physical attraction is one thing, mental attraction is another. What sparks a mental attraction in someone? Usually it is the the immediate chemistry two people have. It’s almost as if they understand each other and the conversations flow naturally. Nothing is forced, and you haven’t looked down at your phone for a while. You have similar views on life, and even when you don’t, you’re intrigued to learn how they see it, instead of it being conflicting. If someone can make you laugh, that is more powerful than a physical attraction. We all want to be happy in life. In fact, that’s always the main reason we are with someone else. “They make me happy”. You’ve heard it more than once I’m sure. The power associated with this type of attraction is in the rare experience of feeling like someone truly understands you. Which can make you drawn to them. It can make you spend countless hours around them, but it feels like it hasn’t been long at all. Sometimes in life you meet people and everything just clicks. Those people and moments should always be valued.
According to Google, The mere-exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference for things merely because they are familiar with them. In social psychology, this effect is sometimes called the familiarity principle. There’s a lot of comfort that lies in the things we are familiar with. And it extends to people. Just like food, places, and many other circumstances, we’re likely to go with what we’ve known before trying something we’re not too familiar with. There have been studies done that prove this as a psychological phenomena. Partly understandable since humans have survived on the basis of what is safe and what is not safe for millions of years. So could this be the reason spending more and more time with a person makes them more likable? Not always, but surely you will become more comfortable with them compared to someone completely unknown. I don’t know why but the movie, Love Don’t Cost A Thing pops in my head. He was a nerd, she actually spent enough time around him and before she knew it, she had actually caught feelings for him. A little psychological phenomena happening here?
Here’s a list of things that can make someone attractive. Take a look to see if anyone of these has drawn you to someone. They’re funny. They have on nice shoes. They have a nice smile. They’re very intellectual. They remind you of someone. They have a beard. They don’t wear makeup. Their car is nice. Their jawline. Their eyes. Their proximity. Their job. Their confidence. Their size. Their mindset….The list goes on and on. And as you can see, it extends beyond just the physical. When we take into account the unique experiences and preferences from individual to individual, there must be someone out there for everybody. Not only that, instead of trying to change who you are, know that there is somebody out there who appreciates everything about you as you are.